Ask Amy: How to Let Go of Past Mistakes and Focus on the Future

This story originally appeared in the June/July 2016 issue of Pointe.

I can’t stop beating myself up over past mistakes. How can I focus on what’s in front of me? —Susan

One of the most beautiful things about dance is that it exists only in the “now”—once the movement’s moment is over, poof! You can never get it back. But you can always try again—and that’s where the real success lies.

I know from experience how damaging relentless self-criticism can be. I used to cry when a class or rehearsal didn’t go well, or give up mid-combination in defeat. Once, after a particularly frustrating rehearsal, the stager took me aside and made me repeat, over and over again, “It just doesn’t matter.” I felt pretty silly, but she helped me realize that I was getting in my own way.

Try to look at your training and dance career as an endless learning process. If you’ve performed poorly or had a bad class, it’s normal to feel frustrated. But try to have a little perspective. I promise, there are much bigger problems in the world. Instead of equating a botched pirouette as a failure, think of it as an enticing challenge. What lessons can you take away from it? And remember, give yourself credit for all the things you’ve done right.

Do you have a question for Amy? Send it to her here, and she might answer it in an upcoming issue!