Oregon Ballet Theatre’s Jessica Lind on Being Your Own Cheerleader

Which do you enjoy more, performing or being in the studio?

At this point in my career, I enjoy performing more. I like being able to totally turn off my brain and enjoy that moment. During the earlier stages of my career, I had really bad stage anxiety. It took over the enjoyment of performance.

What would you say is a hallmark of your dancing?

An old director told me in an evaluation once that I bring a juxtaposition of strength and vulnerability when I’m dancing. That’s something that has stuck with me. And I feel that it rings true; physically, my aesthetic is strong, but then I have a very lyrical side, as well.

In reaching the top, how much is talent and how much is sweat?

There’s no way to get to this point without an extreme amount of hard work. I think I was blessed with some gifts that are helpful in this art form. The athleticism of dancing has always come pretty naturally to me. (I grew up doing a bunch of sports outside of dance.)

For me, the mental side of this job is sometimes more difficult than the physical. I’ve also dealt with a lot of injuries, so being able to bounce back and work through those took a lot of hard work.

How have those injuries affected your approach to your career?

The first day of my apprentice year at OBT, I tore my ACL. I remember thinking, I’m never going to keep this job. I was out for the whole season. I originally did not get offered my apprenticeship back, but our rehearsal director, Lisa Kipp, vouched for me.

Having that injury at that point in my career was extremely difficult, but I also hadn’t really made up my mind about whether ballet was what I wanted to do. When it was taken away from me, it allowed me that moment of “Okay, I do really miss this, and I want to get back into it.” It made my drive a lot stronger.

What role has taught you the most about yourself?

The second aria in [George Balanchine’s] Stravinsky Violin Concerto. It was right after I got promoted to soloist, and I was very nervous. During the pas, I remember looking into my partner’s eyes; I’ll never forget that moment because it taught me that when I put trust into my partner and stay present, it can help me be more in my body and take some of my nerves away. It also taught me how much I love sharing these very human moments onstage with my partners.

What is the least glamorous part of ballet?

Those days where you’re feeling really, really fatigued. You’re thinking, I don’t know how I can get my body to do this. I don’t know how I can switch my brain into go-mode. It’s a matter of choosing to show up and be present every day.

Have you had a worst nightmare onstage?

I was doing the Marzipan principal for Nutcracker. At the very end we do the turning sequence going downstage, and you finish with the double step-up to the knee. I finished the turn on my knee, but I could tell that my weight was shifting forward. In my head, I was thinking, Do not put your hands on the ground. Hang on to the flute. And so I proceeded to do a butt roll to stand up, curtsy, and then run off.

What advice would you have for those wanting to become professional dancers?

Trust the work that you’ve put in. Trust what you have to bring to the table, and acknowledge how much courage it takes to do this career. As much as we need other people to be each other’s cheerleaders, I’m realizing it’s also really important to figure out how to be your own. If you can show yourself that same kindness, I think it will benefit you in the long run.

If you weren’t a dancer, what do you think you would be?

I think I would still be an athlete of some sort. I played soccer when I was a kid, so maybe a soccer player.

Who are you listening to right now?  

I’ve been on a big Cynthia Erivo kick—I am obsessed with her. It’s on my bucket list to see her live in The Color Purple. That song that she sings in it, “I’m Here,” I always listen to before performances. It gets me in the open-heart space that I need to be in.

The Pacific Northwest is a beautiful part of the country. What do you like to do during time off?

I love hiking and biking. My husband and I live really close to Forest Park, which has amazing trails. When our schedules work out for us to have time off together, we love camping. A couple of years ago I took my first backpacking trip in Olympic National Park, which is a little north of Oregon. It was amazing!