How to Approach Summer Intensives If Your Last One Was Disappointing
Golden State Ballet principal Miranda Giles remembers her first summer intensive. “I was so excited to be going away and doing ballet all summer,” she says. “What could go wrong?” But in addition to battling homesickness, she was rattled by the program’s high-pressure atmosphere and competitive vibe. When the year-round offer she’d wanted didn’t materialize, Giles says, “I was so disappointed in myself, and embarrassed.”
Those unhappy memories stuck with her when audition season rolled around again. “The hardest part was returning to summer programs,” she remembers. “I knew I had to reroute my game plan.”
Summer intensives are highly anticipated opportunities to be immersed in dance and escalate your training. Yet for a variety of reasons, a dancer might return home feeling discouraged or confused about their relationship with ballet. While a disappointing intensive isn’t a reason for self-blame, it can make the prospect of future auditions extra-daunting. Here are some tips for putting a rough summer behind you and facing this audition season with an open mind.

Feel the Feels

Giles’ colleague, fellow Golden State Ballet soloist Silken Kelly, went through a similar experience. The summer before her senior year, she attended a high-profile intensive on full scholarship and was hopeful for a future with its affiliated company. But right away, things didn’t feel right. “It wasn’t fitting too well, there wasn’t the smoothness I expected. I’d come from an academy where I was among the best, but I had no training whatsoever in the style taught at this particular school,” she recalls. She inquired about staying at the school year-round but was offered a place in its lowest level, with students many years younger, so she turned it down.
Kelly went home discouraged. “I definitely questioned my place in the ballet world and if I’d make it into a company,” she says. Ultimately, though, Kelly decided she wouldn’t let what happened keep her from moving forward. “Once I went through the emotions of thinking I wasn’t good enough, I came to the realization that those decisions were just specific to one instance. Then I could get excited about new potential prospects when it came to auditioning again. In my mind, there was no option but to continue to dance.”
Some students need more time to process their experience before deciding on next steps, though. Pacific Northwest Ballet School’s consulting therapist, Josh Spell, MSW, LICSW, advises against reflexively pivoting to positivity if that doesn’t feel right. “It’s important to pause, acknowledge the fear, anger, disappointment, or anxiety, and validate the emotional impact. Otherwise, it becomes hard to have a solid sense of self later on.”
There’s a balance between despair and denial, though. “I’m not saying to let the negativity overtake you,” Spell adds. “But some people may completely avoid it and pretend it didn’t happen, which can have a longer-term negative impact.”
Moving Forward
As you head into audition season, Spell recommends visualizing how you’d ideally like your next intensive to go, keeping in mind that, in reality, the experience will be mixed. “Instead of imagining that all summer programs are disappointing, a dancer could interrupt that line of thinking and focus on what they hope to get out of a summer program for their unique trajectory,” he says.
Giles relied on a network of family, friends, and teachers to help her find renewed determination to move on. “I knew that I had to go to summer programs in order to train and reach my goal of becoming a professional dancer,” she says. “I had to understand why my previous summer didn’t work out and make peace with that in order to bounce back. So I tried to keep my supportive people around me and give it another shot.”

Victoria Mazzarelli, artistic/executive director of the Nutmeg Ballet Conservatory, encourages students who feel deflated after an intensive to take note of what was positive about the experience. “Was there a teacher you resonated with and whose corrections really helped you? Did you make a great new friend?” she asks. “Make a list of those things and then say, ‘Okay, it wasn’t the best, but there are some good things to focus on.’ ”
Evaluating what worked for you and what didn’t can help clarify how you want your future to look, in both the short term and the long term. “I tell students to focus on their own path, not someone else’s,” Mazzarelli says. “Some are ready to work even harder, others are more sensitive. They may need a little time away from dance to see how much they love it. Or if they’re okay without it, maybe that’s the way forward.”

Thoughtful planning is important if you have bad memories from your previous intensive. “I advise not to overfill your summer,” says Mazzarelli. “Do a shorter or smaller program, or maybe stay home. Try one that many people have enjoyed, but ask questions: Why did they like it? Did the teachers learn students’ names? Look for places where your teacher knows the instructors and can connect personally with the program.”
Ultimately, one unhappy summer doesn’t mean your goals are forever out of reach. Kelly says that it’s all part of the process of finding the place best-suited for you. “The name of the game is not about having a picture-perfect path,” says Kelly. “What I went through definitely made me who I am as a person, and I have a great head on my shoulders because of all that adversity.” Giles stresses remembering your motivation for dancing. “I think the most important thing is having your own ‘why.’ So much courage came from that summer of not getting what I wanted.”