Ballet and Addiction: 2 Industry Leaders Share Their Journeys to Sobriety

Alcohol and substance use and abuse are more common than one may realize—it’s estimated that 1 in 10 Americans over the age of 12 have an alcohol-use disorder, according to the 2023 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, and nearly 4 percent have an opioid-use disorder. Out of the 20 percent of American adults who have an alcohol-use disorder, only about 7 percent ever get treatment, which could be in part due to the stigma that still surrounds substance abuse and addiction.

Dr. Lisa Monteggia, a neuroscientist and the director of the Brain Institute at Vanderbilt University, says that a complex interaction of genetic and environmental factors (such as stress) can trigger some individuals to fall into the addiction cycle. Early exposure to drugs or alcohol, and personality traits like perfectionism  (and, Anderson adds, “all of ballet’s social rituals and events being rooted in alcohol consumption”) can lead dancers to abuse alcohol or other substances.

Anderson is one of very few people in the ballet industry who publicly speaks about her struggles with addiction. “I used to hide, but now I’m very open about it. I actively take care of my sobriety,” she says. “The same way I used to do my TheraBand every day, my sit-ups, stretching to keep myself good, now I go to AA [Alcoholics Anonymous] meetings.”

Nick Mullikin, artistic director and CEO of Nashville Ballet, has also started speaking openly about his journey to sobriety. His dependence on alcohol became more noticeable after he retired from performing at Ballet West. “I always thought I had it under control,” he says. “When I stopped dancing and lost the routine of taking class every day, I realized it was getting harder and harder to wake up. When did my drinking stop being just something fun and become a problem?”

After attending a treatment program in the spring of 2015, Mullikin began working at Nashville Ballet as the school registrar. “Even to come in again at basically entry level, to be back in the ballet world, was a gift—it was an opportunity for me to reconnect with the art, and having the ballet as reason to wake up in the morning helped me stay sober.”

Breaking the Stigma

Monteggia says that part of the stigma to seeking treatment comes from misguided stereotypes about those who suffer from substance abuse disorders. “Something we are still learning through research is that substance abuse disorder changes your brain. It doesn’t mean that somebody is weak or untrustworthy, it means that their brain has formed new neuropathways because the substance abuse basically hijacked their dopamine system.”

Dopamine is the chemical in the brain released when people experience pleasure. “Dancing can trigger the release of dopamine,” says Monteggia—think of the “high” you might feel during a great class or performance. “But drugs [including alcohol] basically change the system to release dopamine in a stronger way. Then addicts or people who have a substance abuse disorder develop a neuropathway that reinforces their habit of getting that dopamine release from drugs.”

Anderson says her alcoholism took time to develop: “Addiction is a progressive disease—it came up on me slowly until it hit me really hard, quickly. Then, I was waking up every day and sweating it out in class, basically detoxing so I could function for the rest of the day.”

Similarly, Mullikin remembers using company class “just to reset,” he says. “I couldn’t push myself to get to the next level technically because I was just trying to get back to normal.” After retiring from dance, Mullikin began working in administration at Ballet West, and then returned to college at the University of Texas at Austin. “I could work in admin and finish school, all while drinking, because it was so much easier to do work that wasn’t as physical,” he says.

It wasn’t until 2015, after his mom passed away due to illness caused by her own alcoholism, and when he started experiencing major health problems, that Mullikin decided to get help. He had tried to stop drinking on his own before, but the withdrawal symptoms were “too scary” to handle without professional help. Anderson also tried to get sober while she was still dancing, but it didn’t stick until 2009, after she retired. She completed intensive outpatient treatment, which included going to mandatory 12-step meetings every day for a year.

“You’re Not Alone.”

Mullikin celebrated his 10 years of sobriety with a new ballet called Erase the Night, which premiered this year on May 2 at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center. The ballet follows a protagonist on a path similar to Mullikin’s: They struggle with alcoholism, destroy relationships, experience delirium tremens (one possible symptom of withdrawal), hit rock bottom, but eventually find hope. “At one point, when I was in the hospital, I finally admitted to one of the nurses that I was an alcoholic, and she said, ‘You’re not alone—I am, too, and I’ve been where you are,’ and that’s what finally led me to get treatment,” Mulliken remembers. “Now, I feel like creating this ballet is my way of telling other people they’re not alone, because when you are in the depths of this disease, it can be very isolating.”

Ahead of the creation process, Mullikin says he was most nervous about sharing his story with the dancers and staff members. “I tried to hide this part of myself for so long, but in creating this piece I was forced to open up about some of those dark details,” he says. “I was amazed at how the dancers met me where I was, and many of them really connected with me, although not necessarily from their own experience. But so many of them began to share with me how addiction impacted their family or friends.” Mullikin also told his story publicly at several community conversations hosted by Nashville Ballet in partnership with the Tennessee State Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services, which were designed to educate attendees about the local resources available to those struggling with addiction. 

 “The good thing about the research we’re doing is that it shows that the pathways built during periods of substance abuse can be changed,” Monteggia says. “The way that the brain builds a pathway to create a bad habit, it can also create good ones.” Her hope is that more research will lead to more effective treatments, which could ultimately reduce stigma and motivate people to seek help.

“If current dancers are struggling with addiction and need help, I would tell them that it’s okay to take time to prioritize their mental and physical health,” Mullikin says. “And I would encourage other ballet companies to consider how they might support dancers or employees going through this.” For instance, Nashville Ballet and Houston Ballet both have access to resources, like therapists, doctors, and local rehabilitation centers, and information available to dancers who need it.

“If people here need help, I want them to come to me,” says Anderson. “I want my students to know that I’m a resource and my door is always open.” Part of her community engagement work at Houston Ballet includes leading movement workshops for formerly homeless or incarcerated individuals, and people currently in recovery. “I’m so glad I get to do that, because I know how healing movement is for all of us—through it all, dance will always be there.”

For addiction and substance abuse treatment and mental health referrals, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration’s National Helpline at 800-662-HELP (4357) or visit www.usa.gov/substance-abuse