What to Do When You’re Not Connecting With Your Ballet Teacher
As a ballet student, you’ve likely had a teacher that just seems to be on your wavelength—their corrections and feedback style resonate, and their combinations are both fun and challenging. But sometimes, your teacher might be more difficult to connect with. Whether it’s a cultural difference, an irksome quirk, or a brusque feedback style, it’s okay if you don’t mesh well right off the bat. Luckily, there are many strategies you can use to improve the relationship—and your training experience.
Seek Understanding
Before jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions, try to get to a place of mutual understanding with your teacher. Elizabeth Gaither, a former professional ballet dancer who is currently an independent ballet coach, encourages students to view each teacher with an open mind. Doing so will help to discern whether you’re experiencing a minor incompatibility or something more serious. “As a student, I think it’s very important to respect and understand that there’s knowledge being given,” Gaither says. Starting from a place of positivity and sensitivity will help set the foundation for a fruitful relationship.
Talking privately to an older dancer at your studio or school might also be helpful, says Anissa Bailis, a soloist with Ballet Idaho who also teaches at the company’s academy. This can help you determine whether your issues with your teacher are truly personal. “Talk to someone that is older and is able to see a different perspective and help you understand where the teacher is coming from,” she says.
If you feel comfortable, you may want to reach out to your teacher directly to voice your concerns and try to forge a path forward, says Dierdre Miles Burger, assistant education director at The Sarasota Ballet. If this feels uncomfortable or your teacher is hard to approach, simply try to open a dialogue with them before broaching a tricky topic. Seeking advice or asking questions about your progress might be a good way to ease into the conversation. Miles Burger adds that dancers can also speak with another teacher at their studio first, to gain perspective, or enlist the help of a trusted adult, like a parent, for support.
Improving the Situation
In addition to making efforts to better understand your teacher, find ways to work within yourself to improve your experience in class. For instance, if your instructor doesn’t offer much positive feedback, you can provide that to yourself, says Bailis, adding that she often uses this approach in her own training. “That way, I’m trying to give myself the feedback I need for the class,” Bailis says. Make sure to recognize when you nail a combination or make progress on a challenging step or phrase. Writing these “wins” down in a journal is a great way to get into the habit.
Gaither encourages students to reframe challenges and critique as opportunities. She recalls an instance during her first year in the corps at American Ballet Theatre when she was singled out during a rehearsal to perform a section alone and apply corrections. Despite feeling scared, Gaither regards this as a “defining moment” that solidified her inner strength.
Learning to work with different people and personalities will serve you well in a company, but also in any workplace environment, she adds. “Stay humble, stay open, stay receptive,” she says. “Take in every correction that you get, because every correction is the teacher investing that moment in you. That will continue to make you grow, and prepares you for company life.”
When It’s Time for a Change
It’s okay if you’re a sensitive person—and even if you’re not, sometimes constructive feedback can sting. However, it’s important to trust your feelings if you think a teacher is singling you out in a way that is unkind or abusive, or overlooking you in a way that feels cold and intentional. “There’s a difference between tough teaching and being mean,” Gaither says. “As a student, you need to learn to understand the difference between the two.” For example, a loud or stern tone of voice or blunt feedback is very different from a teacher who makes disparaging comments about a dancer’s physique.
When Miles Burger was dancing professionally, she recalls adjusting to several ballet coaches who had a stricter teaching style, in which they would shout out corrections. Ultimately, she says she found the teachers were “quite loving and caring” and the initial trepidation stemmed from a cultural difference as opposed to animosity. “[Students can] determine whether the behavior is directed at them or at everybody,” she says, “That could be one way of discerning whether it’s the teaching style of the particular teacher.”
If you feel your current dance environment isn’t lifting you up and providing you with tools for success, you should ultimately feel empowered to make a change, says Miles Burger. “Just as certain dancers sometimes don’t feel a certain company was the right fit for them and they try to make a change, students might have to do that as well.”
